A few months ago I was diagnosed with mild-moderate sleep apnea. This was after my 2nd sleep study in 8 years, and many more years of poor sleep.
My reaction to the diagnoses is best described as petulant disappointment combined with anger and defeat. Despite having many friends who have it, I felt like a bit of a failure.
My health in general is not great. I don't have any really major diseases, but a small collection of moderate things. I have asthma, eczema, allergies, anxiety. Individually these are not horrible but my cases are in the moderate-to-severe range and my entire life has involved doctor's appointments. I also got glasses at the age of 4 and my childhood was the holy nerd trilogy of Asthma, glasses & braces.
I always felt a bit of a victim to my ailments. Perhaps it was due to being small, short, and the youngest daughter and having adults being overly careful of me. Whatever it was, I bought into it. I have no motivational story of how I became more than my measly few diseases and persisted. Nope, I became quite the wuss.
Being diagnosed with sleep apnea came with a "oh great, one more thing" feeling. One more stupid ailment, one more prescription I need to deal with, one more thing to think about while travelling, dating, living.
I'm starting to come to terms with it, however. My sleep is disordered, I'm constantly tired and pretty much always able to sleep for 12 hours. It's not normal, and gets in the way of being a productive human. I feel like I should be happy to have a solution that is relatively painless but I'm annoyed as fuck. I have attempted 4 nights with my CPAP (more like CRAP, am I right?!) machine and I hate it. It's like when you put a costume on a cat and they go crazy and claw your eyes out - that is how i Feel about sleeping with a dumb ass mask on my face.
Sure, I make all the bane jokes possible, but even that isn't enough.